"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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