She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize