saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
