bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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