So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
