If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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