The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
