Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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