Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
