Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
