I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
