I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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