is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
