he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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