hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I think my vagina is haunted
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
wow bdsm is so cute
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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