Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
