maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
