you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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