Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
