you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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