i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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