I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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