Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize