grandma shit on top of the toilet
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
