Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
