Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
