Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
