I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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