I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I came so hard my ears popped.
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