Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
stop calling my apartment porn island.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
