Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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