Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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