Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
