everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
