DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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