I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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