i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
