she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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