Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
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