I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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