dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize