Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
