Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Of course I have a pirate flag
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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