I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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