I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize