Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Green mimosas i think yes
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Randomize
