You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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