You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Randomize
