You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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