you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
