Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize