I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
