I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
