Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
As shirtless as possible
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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