Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
