my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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