So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
