He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize