I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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