i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
