While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Randomize
