ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
