For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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