You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
