i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
