whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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