Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
