This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize